My Heart

Bobby was born on a Tuesday, November 16, 1982 at 4:39 p.m.  He was three days early, his due date was November 19.  Bobby died by suicide on Sunday, September 3, 2017 at 9:40 p.m.  He died 60 years early at 34 years, 9 months, 18 days, and 5 hours of age.

Bobby was a surprise.  When I found out I was pregnant with Bobby I was shocked but Bobby made the shock easy on me.  I had a very easy pregnancy and very short labor.  He was in a hurry to get here to start his life.

Bobby was a good baby.  He slept well and was pretty happy,  as well as I can remember.  From the moment Bobby was born I realized that baby boys are different.  Besides the obvious way,  Bobby fit perfectly into the space right above my heart and snuggled in close.  Bobby remained in that space, attached to me at the heart, until the day he died.  He’s always in my heart.

When Bobby was little he used to sit in the hallway outside the bathroom door in the mornings while I finished getting ready for work.  He’d eat his cereal while I was applying my make-up and doing my hair and he always told me how pretty I looked.  He loved his momma and I was his first love, as it is for all little boys.

Bobby loved soccer and he was a very good soccer player.  He was on a traveling team and we loved going to the Show Me games in Columbia, MO and other various tournaments.  He was a natural with tons of talent.

Bobby also played baseball. My dad taught him to bat left handed, even though he was right handed.  This confused a lot of coaches and pitchers.  When he was 17 he traveled to Belgium, Amsterdam and Holland to play baseball for the USA Athletes Team.  This was such a wonderful experience and he made some life long friends on that trip.

When Bobby was in high school he played football for Cape Central High School.  He played tight-end and was very defensive.  I really don’t know much about football, but I do know Bobby played hard and played hurt.  He eventually had to have his knee scoped and then opened up for repair.  The great Dr. Thorpe did both his knee surgeries.

After Bobby graduated from high school he attended WyoTech in Laramie, WY.  He graduated in September, 2005 and following WyoTech attended SAM Tech in Houston, TX.  He loved racing and his dream was to work for a professional racing team.   His first racing job was with John Force Racing.  He worked on Eric Medlen’s funny car team.  Because Force is headquartered in Yorba Linda, CA he continued to look for work closer to home.  After a few weeks he was hired by Warren Johnson Racing, headquartered in Sugar Hill, GA.  Although he loved his job, it was not to last very long.  After a couple of years in drag racing the team had to shut down one of the two cars and Bobby was left without a job.

Bobby’s next adventure was working for the Sheriff’s Department in Barrow County, GA.   He started out as a jailer, and he seemed to like that job more than I thought he would.  He decided to try out racing one more time and worked for about a year for Roger Burgess, R2B2 Pro-Mod Cars.  After that year he returned to the Sheriff’s Department.  This time he applied to the Academy and graduated. He was Deputy for about 5 years before returning to MO.  He loved his job and he was very good at it, as well.

He spent about a year working for Big Foot Monster Trucks and was learning to drive the big trucks when that job was eliminated for financial reasons.  At the time of his passing he worked for Kienstra Concrete.  When he went to work at Kienstra he always told me he was going to have to get an exciting hobby because needed that adrenaline rush that his previous jobs had provided.

Bobby was very passionate about everything he did in his life.  He learned everything and studied all about whatever he was involved with; racing, law enforcement, being a dad to his boys, everything. He was a wonderful son, step-son, dad, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, and friend.  So many people loved him and he had no idea.

I miss Bobby so much and I’m trying to move forward everyday because that’s what Bobby would want me to do.  It’s hard.


More to come….





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