Four Months

Tomorrow will be four months.  My life is divided into two parts now;  Before and After.  It’s like someone has turned off the lights.  Things are not as bright as they were before.  I know Bobby would never want us to be so sad but as hard as I try there are very few moments throughout the day that he isn’t on my mind.  He left so many great memories.  He was a wonderful person; opinionated, judgemental, stubborn and kind, with such a big heart.  He always tried to act so gruff but underneath all that grouchiness was the biggest heart you could ever know.

I have had two sessions with a Medium.  The first session was shortly after on October 24, 2017.  This was great. Bobby came through and wanted to make sure I understood just how much he loved me.  He called me his “Angel” and said I was always there for him and that I did everything I could for him in his life.  He knew I would have done ANYTHING for him, without a question.  He said that he understood why and supported decisions I made in my life that I had questioned.  He let me know he’s in heaven with my Dad.  I’m not sure he every got over the loss of my dad in 2010.  He told me to look for dimes.  My dad leaves pennys for me and Bobby leaves dimes for me.

The second session was on December 4 and was more about other aspects of my life but Bobby was there.  He’s with my dad, but always at my side.  It gives me much comfort to know Bobby is with me.  I know he’s looking out for me, I’ve had too many near misses since and that is not the way I roll.  I’m usually on the floor or the ground, tripping or running into things.  I’m not really very graceful and he’s helping me stay safe and in one piece.

So, Bobby’s car was titled TOD to me.  Of all the great vehicles he had in his lifetime, and he had a lot of different ones, he left me a 2001 Saturn with 121,000 miles on it.  I think that was his final joke on me and that makes me smile.  That boy could have left me with a rock and I would treasure it because it belonged to him.  I do have many items that belonged to Bobby that would not mean anything to anyone but me; his spare change cup, his ink pen, a receipt for a Little Caesar’s pizza, Bobby touched those things.

More to come….

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