Missing Bobby

While walking to my car after work today a wave of sadness washed over me that was so strong it nearly brought me to my knees.  Bobby is really gone.  Gone from my life and my world.  It’s unbelievable that I will never hold his hand or hear his voice ever again.  It’s tough getting through a day without thinking about him a million times and wishing I could just have a do over.

When Bobby was a little boy we used to play cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians and anything else he wanted to play, baseball, football, soccer and we used to skateboard.  He was much better than me at skateboarding but I tried.  When we played cops and robbers/cowboys and Indians Bobby always decided who would be the good guy and who would be the bad guy.  The bad guy always got shot by the good guy.  If Bobby were the one to be shot he would fall on the floor and hang his tongue out. He was so cute.  When he hung out his tongue he always hung it out pointed up!  It was so cute I just couldn’t tell him the right way.

Bobby had a teacher in Pre-K that sent home a note to me and it read, “I am concerned that Bobby continues to be interested in playing games involving guns, monsters and bad men.”   Can you tell me why that is concerning?  Especially 30 years ago!

Bobby was a good man.  He was a wonderful father. I am so lucky to be his mom.  He made me proud every day.  He was patient with me and I know very well I irritated the heck out of him sometimes, especially with Snapchat.  He couldn’t understand why I took screen shots of my Snapchat photos and texted them to him instead of sending him a Snapchat message.  And I kept sending him screen shots because I knew that rolled his eyes at me every time he got my text.

More to come…

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